I once thought I had this whole life thing figured out; nothing could ever confuse me, nor could it exhaust my mind by forcing me to strenuously ponder to find an answer to my problem. This idea, this peaceful security-it all ended yesterday. But before I get to the cause of this shattering of my universe, allow me to provide some background.
There was a welcome-back dance for all the students at the school yesterday, so we all decided to go (except for Josh, of course. Curse those spicy nachos, and see about 2 posts ago if you don't understand what I'm talking about.) During this dancing, Daniel and Keenan made themselves instant celebrities by jumping in many dancing circles and doing their thing. I did the smart thing and decided not to join them, seeing as they can actually dance incredibly well while my dancing resembles what would probably come in your head if told to picture a rather chubby mime trying to swat a hoard of mosquitoes while playing dance-dance revolution, all while miming out the entire storyline of Twilight. Not pleasant. Either way, after the music ended and the screams for Daniel and Keenan from admiring girls had silenced at least for the most part, we decided to head back to our dorm.
Now in order to make what follows even more intriguing, let me explain that Keenan had actually left the dance a little early in order to talk to his dance partner. He was walking back to the dance after this but decided to call us to make sure it was still going on. It wasn’t. Naturally, he decided to go back to the dorm and meet us there. He arrived about a minute and a half before we did, and there was absolutely nothing on the floor next to our door, which at this time didn’t seem like too big of a deal to him, as there is very rarely actually something there. However, when the rest of us got to our door, there was a plate of brownies with a note right outside it. Now if this wasn’t confusing enough, here is what the note was like. And yes, the misspellings are on purpose and accurate. I double-checked this, and it is 100% right, so none of the weirdness can be blamed on me.
“Dearest my love,
Your eyes are like luscious palm-a-granitz, and your thighs are…..tender. When I cry, I keep my tears in a couldren, so that maybe oneday, I can pour my tears across your lips. If penguins were my love for you, I would be a penguin. Yes. Look into my skull, and breathe every last single always forever without for always always if only for true freedom, to God and our country, with liberty and justice for all.
Felicidades. xoXoOxXooXO” 
And if this wasn’t odd enough, there is a word that is scribbled over right before the word “lips” that looks like it says “boo-T-licious”, which is not only a terrible spelling, but also very random and bizarre. We tried to figure out who the heck would have the right combination of 1. Lots of time on their hands to make us brownies, 2. The actual ability to make brownies, and 3. The randomness and insanity to write this note. We had a few ideas but we don’t think any of them are actually right. We even asked some girls we were hanging out with if there were any girl-like hints inside it to no avail, which makes sense seeing as we’re pretty convinced it’s from a boy anyway.
NEWS FLASH!!!
I interrupt this post because I feel the need to thank my friend Krissie, who just lived up to our deal by not only buying me cookies, but getting me like 5 bags worth of them. The joy from these cookies will surely last me at least a day and a half. I am most pleased. That is all.
END NEWS FLASH!!!
Back to the original story, we spent about five minutes trying to figure out if there was some sort of hint or code in the note, which spawned such theories as that the misspelled words were misspelled on purpose as a hint. Eventually we decided that the senders were probably just stupid and didn’t have any idea what they were doing, so we gave up. However, despite this failure, two good things came out of this: 1. We got brownies, and 2. We now like to say the line, “Look into my skull, and breathe every last single always forever without for always always if only for true freedom,” just because it’s so randomly awesome. We also tried to have a slumber party with a bunch of mattresses in the kitchen last night, but that didn’t work nearly as well as we had hoped. But should you hear or know anything about suspicious brownie-makers, please let me know.
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