A Learning Experience

Me and Keenan learned quite a bit yesterday, my friends. First, we learned that you can freak people out really easily by just touching their face, and this now happens much more frequently than it ever should in our dorm. And yes, this is all Emily’s fault.


Second, we learned that all of our other roommates are very inconsiderate and rude indeed, with the exception of Steven. Yesterday evening, me, keenan, and Emily came back to our dorm, very excited to taste the mixture of jello and chocolate pudding that we had brilliantly thought up earlier that day. We opened the door, expecting the smell of strawberry wonder, the view of our roommates ready and waiting to eat this tasty treat alongside us, and feelings of happiness to be awoken within our hearts. We went 0 for 3. We entered to a table full of gluttonous traitors with their bellies full of our tasty creation, feeling neither remorse nor guilt for their treacherous act of selfish greed. Long gone were the jello and the pudding, along with any respect I had ever had for any of the people involved. I will shortly unleash the spanking of a lifetime on Josh for this foul deed. I had better hopes for these people. Shame, shame.

On a lighter note, we got yet another note from our stalker friends. This time we figured out that they are for Josh in specific, which is really funny seeing as the first note came with 5 brownies and he was the only one that didn’t actually get one. We figured this out because as we were about to enter our dorm, we met a girl right outside asking if we could do her a favor. Now us, being 5 (Josh wasn’t here at this time, for suspicious reasons) of the 7 most gentlemanly people in the universe, quickly agreed and asked what it was we could do that would make her life a little bit easier. She said she was looking for a Josh in our hall, and we eventually figured out that it was indeed our Josh that she was looking for. She said that her roommate wanted her to drop off this plate and note to Josh, which went as follows. Again, this is accurate, so don’t blame me. And click on the picture if you don’t believe me.




“My dearest Love,
Four score and seven years ago, we met at a beateous dance. When we danced, the sparks melted my *heart, my *mind, and my *lips….Though your friends are fruits and nuts, I won’t let spoil our tender memories that night. Here are two pieces of bread. One is for you, one is for me. Hopefully we can eat them together soon.
xOxxOxXoxoox”


*=these words were accompanied by a picture

It came with a plate full of nuts and dried fruit along with 2 pieces of banana bread. They also left a hint that I will not tell you guys, seeing as I don’t even know this person so I shouldn’t be giving out info on them. I shouldn’t be this considerate, however. They called me and my other roommates fruits and nuts, which is not only a blatant lie and ridiculously immature and rude, but also made it so the only goodies we got out of it were stupid nuts and dried fruit. It wasn’t nearly as much of a success as the first note, obviously. We also have a fairly good idea of what is going down with these notes, and we’re 97% confident it’s a joke, seeing as very few people are actually this creepy for real. Now the only problem is figuring out who it is. But that can wait for later.

Anyway, another thing we learned is that we laugh way too easily and in very inappropriate environments. We were in church, enjoying a very nice lesson and having our souls edified magnificently when Josh randomly turns to me and Keenan and makes a very silly, quiet sound with his mouth. There was absolutely no reason why this should have been even close to as funny as it was, but we ended up laughing for (no joke) ten or fifteen straight minutes, desperately trying to contain ourselves enough so we didn’t disrupt the rest of the class. I think we failed.

We also learned that you can go into a dumpster by Krispy Kreme and get bags of day-old donuts whenever you please. Why I did not know this before is a mystery to me. Why in the world would anyone ever buy a donut when hundreds of them were just sitting in dumpsters, waiting for us to come by and pick them up and take them to a better place? I do not know.
We also had quite an eventful night, not going to bed til 3:30. We did some perfect pushups, read some Office quotes, and drilled Daniel about his spicy nachos. We were very much considering making brownies at 3 in the morning, but then we realized that we didn’t actually have a tray to put the brownies in, which dampened our spirits a bit, eventually leading us to give up on making goodies and just go to bed.